


Heal

by destielwithashotgun



Category: Outer Banks (TV)
Genre: Angst, But for like a second, Epilepsy, Epileptic JJ, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Other, Seizures, Vomit, autistic pope, its a happy ending I promise, mentions of abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-24
Updated: 2020-10-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:35:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27171845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/destielwithashotgun/pseuds/destielwithashotgun
Summary: JJ stops breathing on a Wednesday.The Heywards freak out (as they should)Another part of my "Epileptic JJ in Foster Care" series. Might make more sense if you go back and read the other stories, but you don't technically have to.
Relationships: Heyward & JJ (Outer Banks), JJ & Pope (Outer Banks), Mrs Heyward & JJ (Outer Banks)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 91





	Heal

**Author's Note:**

> So...its been a longgg moment since I've written. Senior year is rough stuff (though nothing could beat junior year). And I was also finishing and publishing my book, so that took up some time too (I am not good at editing. Most of my readers probably know that.) Anyway, angst!

JJ stops breathing on a Wednesday. 

It started with the rain. The storm, really, that JJ got caught in on his way home from the beach.

(He actually enjoys storms quite a bit.)

(He doesn't think about how the thunder used to drown out his screams.) 

He was walking past Heywards store, soaked to the bone, when he caught sight of Pope inside. He was working the counter, and the three people that were at his house seemingly more than JJ was were crowded around him. JJ knew Kiara, obviously (and he didn't deny that he thought she was hot). He also slightly knew John B, who had been over a few times and had talked surfing with both him and Pope. He assumed the other person there was Sarah, who went to kook academy and yet, for some reason, was totally in love with a pogue. 

For a second, he debated going inside and saying hi. But he didn't particularly enjoy meeting new people, especially when he had to explain to them why he was living with the Heywards in the first place. 

("My dad bashed my head in so bad he gave me seizures" was actually not a good conversation topic, wouldn't you know). 

Instead, he passed the store and made his way back to the house, ignoring the way he shivered in the wind. The rain was fine, but JJ hated the cold. (Maybe that came from never having proper winter clothes, even if they did live where the temp didn't get too low.) 

JJ slipped in through the backdoor, trying to keep from being noticed. Not that he didn't love talking to Mrs. Heyward, and even Heyward sometimes too, but he didn't want them asking him questions about where he had been and why he hadn't told them where he was going. So maybe he wasn't entirely used to having those types of rules yet, sue him. 

He attemps to go unnoticed failed. Mrs Heyward saw him as he tried to walk past the kitchen, and called out. "JJ! What are you doing in those clothes, soaked like that? C'mere, tell us where you've been." 

JJ swallowed, but there was really no way to get out of that unless he wanted to run away. Reluctantly, he made his way to the kitchen, dripping water on the wood floors. Heyward pointed a finger at him, a phone held to his ear. "You better clean that up boy," he said. JJ nodded. 

(Don't think about how he called you "boy", don't think about how mad he looks right now). 

Mrs. Heyward pulled him over to the kitchen table as Heyward walked out of the room, making loud footsteps echo down the hall. "You care to tell me why you left without letting any of us know?" she asked. JJ shifted, already uncomfortable. 

He was 99 percent certain that Mrs. Heyward would never, ever hurt him (though JJ wasn't very good at math, so maybe he should know not to trust that) but the way she looked at him made him nervous. 

"I didn't think it was important," he muttered. Mrs Heyward scoffed, shaking her head. 

"Didn't think it was important. Ok JJ, how about I tell you why it's important then?" She sounded mad. She never sounded mad. JJ swallowed heavily, and the nauseous feeling he had gotten so used to at his own home was coming back. 

"You think that if DCS shows up here as a surprise visit, and we don't know where you are, you think that'll go well for us? You think showing up whenever you want, soaked and obviously freezing is going to make DCS want to keep you here?" 

JJ brushed wet hair out of his eyes, keeping them straight down as he talked. "DCS never cared about the big shit before, they wouldn't care about the little shit now," JJ muttered. 

"Watch your mouth boy," Mrs Heyward said. 

(That was both his foster parents calling him 'boy' in just a few minutes. JJ felt sick). 

She continued, unaware of the way his leg bounced from anxiety instead of ADHD. "Now that they're on your case, you think they'll be lenient? They messed up and let you live in that house for 16 years, they sure won't mess up again. What, you think they won't jump at the chance to take you, JJ? We're a poor black family. They wouldn't hesitate to take you out of here and straight to the mainland if they thought we were mistreating you in any way." 

"I got it," JJ said, trying to force back the bad feeling that was rising in his throat. No matter how nervous he was then, he didn't want to leave. At least, not until Heyward stormed into the kitchen again, madder than before and glaring straight at the table. 

He said something to Mrs. Heyward, something about stocking the store maybe, except that JJ could hardly hear over the ringing in his ears. Was this finally the moment he had been certain would come? No matter how nice Heyward had seemed (at least most of the time), he could never shake the feeling that some day, Heyward would lose his cool. 

He sat there, wanting to bolt and maybe a little scared to leave. At least with his dad he had known what was going to happen. The unpredictability of the situation made it hard for JJ to breathe. 

Heyward suddenly seemed to remember that JJ was there, and turned toward him, tossing a dish towel his way. 

(He missed the way JJ flinched.) 

"Clean up your mess," Heyward demanded, and then went back to ranting about his phone call. 

JJ knelt on the floor, dizzy with both relief and anxiety, and begain mopping up the water he had spilled. Things were ok, he told himself. 

(They could still get bad). 

And they did, though not the way JJ was expecting. He realized too late that it wasn't completely nerves that were making him feel sick. As he lifted his head, the world spun around him, and suddenly he was hitting the ground. He only heard a muffled exclamation from one of his foster parents before the world grayed out. 

When he woke, he was on his side, and there was foam on his mouth. (That wasn't usual.) 

(If his eyes could just focus, he could figure out what the blurry figures above him were.) 

"JJ?" Someone asked. Was he supposed to respond to that? He couldn't remember. Just in case, he tried to say something. He had no idea if he actually made a sound. He tried to swallow, but it was like he couldn't control his own throat muscles. Before he could really understand what was going on, everything was fading away again.

After that, time blurred together. He caught moments, small ones, but they didn't always make sense. At one point he was in a car, he knew. His mouth tasted like vomit, and somebody was next to him, combing a hand through his hair. The car lurched, and JJ went away. Then he was somewhere that was way too bright, and the second he opened his eyes he had to shut them again. He felt the sensation of moving, and maybe someone was gripping his hand, but all the shouting around him hurt too bad for him to focus. 

His finally memory was clearest, even as he could tell he was about to go away again. They ripped him away from Heyward and Mrs Heyward, who was crying maybe. JJ vaguely wondered what she was crying over. His hand ached, feeling empty, though he couldn't figure out why. As his vision disappeared, he caught sight of his foster parents hugging each other tightly, watching as he was pulled away to...wherever he was going.

The mattress was soft when he woke up, with a slight headache and obvious evidence of pain relieving drugs. He had been in the hospital long enough before to know where he was, though this time he wasn't alone. 

Pope was asleep on the window seat, his glasses sitting at an awkward angle on his face. Mrs. Heyward was in a reclining chair, an open magazine next to her. She was clearly asleep as well, and JJ realized with a start that he could see the stars through the window. 

Heyward was sitting in an old chair against the wall on the other side of the bed. It had obviously been brought in just for him. His eyes were closed as well, though when JJ shifted they opened immediately. 

"JJ?" he asked. 

"You called me boy," JJ muttered. 

(Maybe he wasn't as entirely in the right state of mind as he thought he was.) 

Heyward looked confused. "What?" 

"Boy. You called me boy, just like my dad used to." Was he slurring? He couldn't tell. 

Heyward sat back, eyes wide. "Boy. He called you that when he..." 

"When he was mad," JJ said, unwilling to say anything else. Heyward swallowed hard. 

"God, JJ, and I was so mad about the store, and your mom was mad because she was so worried about you...we didn't even realize how that might come off." He looked like he had been struck in the face, and neither of them noticed when he called Mrs. Heyward JJ's mom. 

"S'ok," JJ replied. "You had a reas'n." He was tired. 

"It's not ok," Heyward responded, and he rubbed a hand over his face. "It's not, even if you think it is, because we know that we shouldn't raise our voices around you, we know we need to be careful when we're angry. We should have seen it, we just didn't." 

JJ hummed a little. 

Heyward sighed. "Is that why you didn't tell us you were about to have a seizure?" 

JJ looked up, suprised. "I didn't know I was goin' to have one." 

(He didn't want to explain it.)  
(He didn't want Heyward to know he was weak.)   
(He said it anyway.) 

"I thought I felt sick because I was scared," he admitted. 

Heyward recoiled. "JJ..." there was nothing to say though. 

"Was it bad?" JJ asked. "Why did you bring me to the hospit'l?" 

The man looked like he was scared of reliving the memory. "It was," he confimed quietly. "You had a series of 4 grand mal seizures. Those are bad, JJ. You don't normally get ones those bad." There was something he was hiding, and even JJ could see, though his eyes didn't want to focus. 

"What aren't you telling me?" JJ asked. 

Heyward dropped his eyes to JJ's chest. "You stopped breathing." 

JJ was silent for a minute. "Oh," he said finally. Heyward chuckled a little. 

"Yeah, oh. By the time we got to the hospital, you had already stopped. They weren't sure you were going to come back." He looked teriffied at the thought, and suddenly JJ could no longer see the angry man from before. Heyward was more concerned, more scared for JJ than his dad had ever been. 

Hesitantly, JJ reached out for Heywards hand. He may not have been entirely in his right mind, but he liked the feeling of comfort it provided. "I'm tired," he murmured, eyes already closing. 

Heyward smiled, though JJ didn't see it. He squeezed the kids hand tightly. "Go to sleep JJ. We'll all be here when you wake up."


End file.
